I need to make an announcement of some consequence ….
Gather the young ‘uns; they need to hear this too.  Be ready with some hankies and a distracting toy or two though, because there will be tears once they have heard what I have to say.

I took up baking as a hobby around about 2005.  I had just been dumped by my literary agent for not being famous enough and yet again my dreams of becoming a published author were dashed.  I sulked for a bit …. actually more than a bit.  Sulking is one of the few things I can do really well.  Eventually I pulled myself out of my pit of glum and I decided that the best thing to do would be to keep my self occupied with a hobby.  So I took up baking.

I’m not going to lie, the main reason I chose this particular hobby was in a sad attempt to impress the ladies.  It didn’t really turn out the way I hoped.  The problem was that the cakes I made were so spectacular and I am so timid and feeble, that my cakes often stole the limelight away from me, their creator.  They were my glutenous Frankenstein’s monster.  That is why I feel the time has come to kill the creature and stand as as a man on my own – the man I know I can be if only I made a little effort, spoke up a bit and worked on my posture and went out and about a bit more, for cryin’ out loud!

So from this day the cake is finished.  I am a baker no more.  From now on I am going to focus on my one greatest passion in life: writing.  That is where my heart truly lies.

But don’t be sad – there is still a glimmer of hope.  My feelings may change in the years to come, and I might take up the wooden spoon again.  I will definitely need to keep making birthday cakes for my nephews and nieces … I’m afraid there’s no escaping that.  Niece Number 1 says that if I don’t make her a red velvet cake for her birthday then she will literally murder me in my sleep.  She’ll do it too – I’m not joking.  And she’d get away with it.  No court in the land would be brave enough to tangle with her.  I’m very, very scared.

For my grand finale, I made my first and last wedding cake.  It was for a couple of dear friends of mine, Georgina and Peter who got married this past weekend.  Here is a picture of it.  Not too shabby, if I do say so myself ….




3 thoughts on “Announcment

  1. WOW – excellent cake baking skills! even more impressive as from experience it is difficult to write and have a sugar high at the same time. I was in a coffee shop eating Carrot Crème Brule cake (incredible btw) and trying to write only yesterday when I had to go and have a lie down as the sugary goodness was just too much for me.

    Good luck with the writing!


    • Thank you Sophie – I found that the secret to survival as a baker was never to eat my own cakes …. that’s another reason why I’m giving it up. Maybe someone will bake something for me now …. 🙂

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