I need to make an announcement of some consequence ….
Gather the young ‘uns; they need to hear this too. Be ready with some hankies and a distracting toy or two though, because there will be tears once they have heard what I have to say.
I took up baking as a hobby around about 2005. I had just been dumped by my literary agent for not being famous enough and yet again my dreams of becoming a published author were dashed. I sulked for a bit …. actually more than a bit. Sulking is one of the few things I can do really well. Eventually I pulled myself out of my pit of glum and I decided that the best thing to do would be to keep my self occupied with a hobby. So I took up baking.
I’m not going to lie, the main reason I chose this particular hobby was in a sad attempt to impress the ladies. It didn’t really turn out the way I hoped. The problem was that the cakes I made were so spectacular and I am so timid and feeble, that my cakes often stole the limelight away from me, their creator. They were my glutenous Frankenstein’s monster. That is why I feel the time has come to kill the creature and stand as as a man on my own – the man I know I can be if only I made a little effort, spoke up a bit and worked on my posture and went out and about a bit more, for cryin’ out loud!
So from this day the cake is finished. I am a baker no more. From now on I am going to focus on my one greatest passion in life: writing. That is where my heart truly lies.
But don’t be sad – there is still a glimmer of hope. My feelings may change in the years to come, and I might take up the wooden spoon again. I will definitely need to keep making birthday cakes for my nephews and nieces … I’m afraid there’s no escaping that. Niece Number 1 says that if I don’t make her a red velvet cake for her birthday then she will literally murder me in my sleep. She’ll do it too – I’m not joking. And she’d get away with it. No court in the land would be brave enough to tangle with her. I’m very, very scared.
For my grand finale, I made my first and last wedding cake. It was for a couple of dear friends of mine, Georgina and Peter who got married this past weekend. Here is a picture of it. Not too shabby, if I do say so myself ….