So….. at last it is here. You were given plenty of warning, so let’s have no whimpering. If there’s one thing I cannot abide it’s a gibbering poltroon.
I’m not going to go into all the grizzly details of how I brought this unholy terror into the world; because that in itself would be almost as Herculean an endeavour as constructing this monster was in the first place. There will be a detailed, step by step behind the scenes account at some point once all the dust has settled, but for now I shall let the pictures do the talking. Behold and shudder:
As chance would have it, there was a professional photographer named Jennifer Booth on the scene to document the carnage. She stood valiantly in the face of the horrors that unfolded before her to capture the following images of my victims. This evidence may very well come in useful if they ever manage to bring me to trial at the Human Rights Court in The Hague – but I doubt if that will be very likely. I am a cunning and spring heeled imp and a diabolical master of disguise.
The following images have been digitally altered to protect the gluttonous…
Nice try young lady, but small portions won’t help you. Each crumb of this cake has enough calories to sink the continent of Atlantis: