The Death of a Doughnut Review

A review of my short story by the only person whose opinion matters – me:

Hello. I am the author of this piece, and I am now about to write a review of it in a brazen attempt at self promotion…

To approach my review from a fair and balanced standpoint, I decided to take measures. So I went outside, I bowed my head and I ran full tilt at a brick wall. When I regained consciousness, I had complete but temporary amnesia. Once I was discharged from hospital, the first thing I saw when I came home was a sticky note on my desktop reminding me to read this story. I did so immediately – despite my splitting headache.

Oh my word – I was so moved. How moved was I? I was so moved that I spontaneously teleported to China… which was inconvenient because I was only half way through the story at that point. I hitchhiked my way back home in the manner of Bill Bixby in the old Incredible Hulk TV series. Which means that nearly all the drivers completely ignored me and I ended up walking most of the way.

It was worth it though, because when I returned home and I was able to finish reading the story, I wept tears of the purest joy the likes of which only a mother beholding the face of her newborn baby for the first time can know. For by then my memory had returned and I remembered that I was the genius who brought this beautiful work of art into the world.

So read this story, read it now. Otherwise you will never know the meaning of true joy. All your other accomplishments in life, your family, your career, your stamp collection will be but shadows and you will go to your grave a hollow and unfulfilled human being…


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