You may be asking yourself, “Why is this Week Zero? Shouldn’t we be in the midst of Cake-pocalypse right this very moment? We have lived in its fearful shadow for so long, haven’t you taunted us enough you fiend?”
Okay, calm, down dear – don’t get your suspender tights in a twist. I could tell you that I planned for this brief respite to give you time to get your affairs in order, make a will, order some elasticated tracksuit bottoms and whatnot. However, the tragic truth is that I was never really any good at maths, and when I started my countdown, I failed to recognise that there were actually eleven weeks left to the beginning of June rather than 10. I am pure evil, but I never claimed to be organised.
So…… What have you been up to lately? Anything cool? Seen any good movies……
Oh wait, I made a couple of cakes recently. I won’t detail the recipes because I don’t want to get into anything too heavy this close to the end of all things. So I’ll just show you a couple of pictures. I made these for some friends. Yes, I have friends. There’s no need to look so surprised. And no, they’re not the imaginary kind, and I’m only blackmailing half of them – I have the other half under surveillance….
This is yet another chocolate devil’s food cake – it’s proving very popular:
And for a slight change of tempo, this is a strawberries and cream cake:
And here are some sprinkles….
Those are just to give you the merest hint of what to expect when Cake-pocalypse finally arrives – and it will most definitely be here by next week. Do not make the mistake of regarding me as the boy who cried ‘cake’ – that would be a miscalculation you may not live to regret……