Maple Nut Sandwich Cookies

Recipe #11

Let me ask you a question:
What do you get if you cross a chocolate cake with a Mexican cat?
A gateaux!

It has occurred to me that my calorific creations on their own – monstrous as they undeniably are – may not on occasion be enough to finish people off.  So I have decided that it would be prudent for me as a super villain to have secreted up my sleeve a coup de grâce that could swiftly put my victims out of their misery… at least once their cries for mercy have ceased to entertain me and become merely an annoyance.  So for this purpose I have determined that there is no weapon swifter and deadlier than the cutting edge of my rapier wit.

Permit me to furnish you with a further example:
Did you ever hear about the pickle who couldn’t stop gambling?
He was on a roll!

Quite excruciatingly hilarious I’m sure you’ll agree.  But imagine how it would feel listening to jokes such as these while your tummy is full of cake and you are languishing on the ground like a beached whale.  The relentless onslaught of my drollery would have you laughing so hard that you would literally split your sides – thus providing me with further amusement…

I think you get the picture now:
There is no escape…
I cannot be defeated…
I am The Caloriser…
And you are DOOMED!!!

Oh and before we commence with this week’s recipe, I just have one more thing to add:
Why do you suppose the wedding cake was so sad?
Because it was in tiers!

STAGE 1 – THE COOKIES:

WHAT YOU WILL NEED

Equipment:

  • A large mixing bowl
  • A few smaller bowl
  • A mixing spatula
  • An electric mixer
  • A frying pan
  • A rolling pin
  • A zip lock bag
  • Cling film
  • Baking tray
  • Baking paper

Ingredients:

  • 85 grams of pecans, crushed
  • 100 grams of mixed chopped nuts, dry toasted
  • 380 grams of plain flour
  • 80grams of ground almonds
  • 50 grams of dessicated coconut
  • 2 teaspoons of cinnamon
  • 1 teaspoon of nutmeg
  • 1/2 teaspoon of baking powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon of salt
  • 230 grams of butter, soft at room temperature
  • 225 grams of caster sugar
  • 115 grams of dark brown sugar
  • 2 large eggs
  • 4 tablespoons of maple syrup

Before we begin, just so you know, this recipe as described makes approximately 30 cookies – but you can vary that according to your taste by choosing differently sized biscuit cutters.

Measure out the nuts:
IMG_5025Put the pecans in a zip lock bag and smash them to pieces with a rolling pin and then put them aside:
IMG_5028Put the chopped mixed nuts into a dry non-stick frying pan and stir them gently over a medium heat until they just start to turn a toasty brown.  Then put them in a bowl and leave them to cool a little:
IMG_5026 IMG_5027Once the toasted nuts have cooled, mix them in with the crushed pecans:
IMG_5029Combine all the dry ingredients in a bowl: the flour, ground almonds, coconut, the spices, baking powder and salt.  Stir in the nuts and mix thoroughly:
IMG_5030 IMG_5031In a separate large mixing bowl whisk the butter until it is pale.  Then whisk in the the sugars until you have a light fluffy mixture:
IMG_5032 IMG_5033Whisk in the eggs one at a time:
IMG_5034 IMG_5035Stir in the dry ingredients until they are thoroughly incorporated.  The dough should have the look and consistency of very, very stiff peanut butter.  Cover the bowl with cling film and leave the dough in the fridge for at least two hours, or preferably overnight:
IMG_5036 IMG_5037Seeing as we have a little time to kill, this would be a perfect moment for another taste of my diabolical whimsy:
What kind of dessert do cobblers eat?
Choux pastry!

If that hasn’t hasn’t compromised the integrity of your sound mind and body, line a baking tray with baking paper and pre-heat the oven to 180˚C/350˚F/Gas Mark 4.

Pick out a round crimp edges biscuit cutter.  I used one with a 5.5 cm diameter, but you can choose bigger or smaller if you like:
IMG_5038Scoop out a good handful of dough and it roll into a ball.  Place the ball between two sheets of cling film and cut out the biscuits with the cutter:
IMG_5039 IMG_5041Place the dough rounds onto the baking tray and bake for 10 to 12 minutes or until the biscuits just start to turn brown around the edges.  Place them onto a wire rack to cool:
IMG_5042 IMG_5043Oh yes, by the way; why was the cream bun waved through at customs?
Because it had nothing to éclair!

Do you want me to shut up and get on with the butter cream?  Okay, here’s the butter cream…

STAGE 2 – THE BUTTER CREAM:

WHAT YOU WILL NEED

Equipment:

  • A large mixing bowl
  • A mixing spatula
  • An electric whisk
  • A disposable piping bag
  • a Number 195 piping nozzle
  • A jug
  • Scissors

Ingredients:

  • 250 grams of butter
  • 12 tablespoons of icing sugar
  • 2 tablespoons of dark brown sugar
  • 1/2 teaspoons of vanilla paste
  • 3 tablespoons of maple syrup

Whip the butter with an electric whisk until the it is pale.  Stir in the icing sugar three tablespoons at a time, whisking after each addition:
IMG_5049 IMG_5050Whisk in the brown sugar:
IMG_5051Whisk in the vanilla and maple syrup.  You should end up with a light, creamy pale brown mixture:
IMG_5052 IMG_5053Place the piping nozzle into the end of the piping bag:
IMG_5054Push the bag with the nozzle into a straight sided jug.  This will make the bag easier to fill:
IMG_5055Scoop the butter cream into the piping bag.  Remove the bag from the jug and push the icing down towards the nozzle.  Twist the top of the bag closed and snip away the end of the bag with a pair of scissors to expose the tip of the nozzle:
IMG_5056 IMG_5057Place half of the cooled biscuits onto some plates and pipe a generous dollop of butter cream onto each of them:
IMG_5059Then place the remaining unpiped biscuits on top of the piped ones to make the sandwiches:
IMG_5062And finally, to aid your digestions, I give you this:
What do you call a pie on a sun bed?
A meringue-o-tan!

NUTRITIONAL ADVICE
Batman Robin Death 3

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One thought on “Maple Nut Sandwich Cookies

  1. Pingback: Maple Nut Sandwich Cookies | terrificwriter

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